God's Body is Found!

4/1/08 Science News This Morning:

Atheists find final proof that there is no God! Researcher Harvey Lobebanger declared the search for God to be over today in a press conference in Upper Stanistan. According to Lobebanger, the research team discovered "the body of God buried in an ancient avalanche zone on Mount Stanistanistan". "Apparently in an ancient skiing accident", said Lobebanger, although no skis were found. "The skis should have been there", said Lobebanger, who acknowledged that the body was not available for viewing, but was under scrutiny at the SCPM in downtown Stanistani. In fact, Stanistan Central People's Museum Director, Stanley Stansislausistan, commented, "What we seem to have here appears to be a really large fingernail clipping; pretty sure it's God's". Atheists worldwide rejoiced today, singing "Toldja, toldja, toldja..." Some atheists, however, were cautious, wondering how they would function as rebels in a world that is now forced to accept their original worldview.

In other news, evolutionary biologists have captured a meme, and will publish the weight, height, length, and depth in an upcoming article in Science Or Not. Researchers said that the meme "put up a good fight", but it was captured alive, and is now resident in a postgrad's brain, where it seems to be quite happy.