Saturday, December 24, 2011

T'was the Night...

T’was the night before EX-mus,
and all through the land,
There was secular silence
T’was all that Atheists could stand.

They’d had such sour stomachs
When’ere they had viewed
Crèches with babies,
It got them all stewed.

“It’s De-Constitutional!”
They wailed and they bellowed
“It’s written there somewhere
No religion allowed!”

“We know that it’s in there,
Our judges so ruled;
We’ve never really read it,
We went to government school.“

Even if it’s not there
It should be y’know,
It’s a health issue for us
Gives us the drizzles: go, go, go, go.

We Atheists say
Atheism holds sway!
Our beliefs are the ones
The government shall obey.

Not yours: only ours!
We can dominate you.
We can sue you and sue you
And sue, sue, sue, sue!.

We’ll break you with lawsuits
We have the cash;
We have judges and lawyers
Our suits will be rash…
And your beliefs we will trash!

A baby in a feed trough:
That’s intolerant!
We won’t tolerate it
We won’t and we shan’t!

It sickens us literally
To think someone thinks
Different from us
And we think that that stinks.

We’re tolerant and you’re not
And we won’t tolerate
Anything which goes counter
To our own tolerance dictate.”

So they sued and they sued.
The crèches were removed
Their opposition silenced
Their tolerance: proved.

With the government fully Atheist
They thought, Well, what now?
We should remove all religion
From our laws, but how?

Let’s pass new laws with
thousands of pages, unread!
We can cancel old notions
With blizzards of bullshit instead!

And so it became the land of lawsuits.
The land of secular threats and angst,
And tolerance of only that
Which relieves Atheist’s stomach pangst.

And so to all
On this Ex-mus eve,
Be silent and hide quietly
What you believe.

It gives Atheists the collywobbles
And we just can’t have that!
So whatever you believe,
Keep it under your hat.
(At least until Ramadan,
The gov't will celebrate that!)

7 comments:

Morgan said...

LOL great job Stan :)

Jotunn said...

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

"[t]he First Amendment provision that prohibits the federal and state governments from establishing an official religion, or from favoring or disfavoring one view of religion over another."


I mean ... wow. Those damn atheists, always trying to uphold the constitution. Have you read it?

... I really shouldn't even bother commenting here. It's just hard to ignore such blatant, willful ignorance.

Chris said...

I am not a fundamentalist Christian.

As I understand it, the separation of church and state was instituted to safeguard religion and religious expression. I don't think the intent was to safeguard religious freedom solely at home behind closed doors.

Practically speaking, I'm inclined to say that atheism and secularism is a kind of counter religion, so the so-called neutral stance on religion in the public space is not neutral at all.

This is clearly a thorny matter. Democracy always is. Is it "freedom of" or "freedom from"?

Nats said...

"Secular" is different from "atheist", Stan.
Have a merry Christmas!

Jotunn said...

Chris, I am not aware of a single lawsuit were private money was paid to endorse religion on private land. If one exists, I disagree with the lawsuit. And I rather doubt it would succeed anyways.

The lawsuits I am aware of are in protest of spending public money endorsing one religion over all others.

You wouldn't want your tax dollars paying for Ramadan celebrations to the exclusion of all others, correct? Same idea.

Secular is different from atheist. Secular does not comment on religious claims. Atheism rejects religious claims.

Also, you have to have quite the martyr complex to claim a majority of around 80% are being 'oppressed'. Not you specifically Chris, but xtians in general who make that claim.

Is it "freedom of" or "freedom from"?

Both. You have the right to practice your religion, and I have the right to not have to support it through my tax dollars.

Nats said...

Here's my analysis:

Stan makes these points in the form of a poem (or rap lyrics. It is not stated which.)

1- Atheists suffer from health issues if the government promotes Christianity. No evidence is provided from doctors whether these health issues are real or psychosomatic.

2- Atheists have never read the Constitution and have misinterpreted it when they read it.

3- Atheists dominate the government with their money and lawyers and their own judges. (Atheism is where the money is. And you can't get elected nowadays without declaring your atheism.)

4- The government is fully atheist and will celebrate Ramadan.

Stan's age is not given but from his use of the word "collywobbies" we can assume he is around ninety-two years old.

Summery: His basic premise is based on a strawman. No apparent connection with actual reality, no logical argument, no evidence is provided for his complaints.


:-)

Stan said...

I am 7,946 years old. That's why I'm not a YECie.

The lawsuit which went to the USSC earlier this year was based on Atheist dispepsia and gastric distress at the sight of religious things on public lands. Really. It was an FFRF suit as I recall; opposed by the ACLJ.

I did not mention private property, but Atheist sign wars are being waged across from churches, both on private property, and on buses and other private property attacks.

The lawsuits have nothing to do with public money; they are about Christian artifacts embedded into city flags and medallions from inception and antiquity; the sale of public property containing crosses to private parties who wish to maintain the crosses (war memorials), lists of religious moral tenets in public hallways, etc and nauseatingly etc.

Atheism and secular go hand in hand; denying that is so Atheist. Secular moral statements are the same as Atheist: "whatever"; nothing of a moral nature is attached to either Atheism or secularism. They are indiscernable in terms of ethics and character.

Ramadan plus any other religion can be celebrated without any hassle; Obama celebrated Ramadan, but uses the secular notion of Christmas. Christians don't file lawsuits to prohibit religion; Atheists do that.

There is nothing in the Constitution that says:
"[t]he First Amendment provision that prohibits the federal and state governments from establishing an official religion, or from favoring or disfavoring one view of religion over another."

Jotunn:
States don't have Congresses. And the First Amendment says nothing about favoring. It says Congress may not pass laws "respecting the establishment of religion". Period. That's all that it prohibits. Don't be throwing around statements about ignorance so blithely, when your own statement is incorrect.

Finally, some Atheists don't seem to be able to take a joke. except maybe nats, who came back in good humor, thanks for that, nats.

But:
Have a good un-holy holiday!

Question: Do you guys have secular trees decorated with secular lights and surround by secular presents? Just curious. I used to do that, only I did use the word Christmas.