Thursday, February 5, 2015

Obama, the Theologian

Exegesis of Obama’s Papal Bull:
"Obama had a more non-denominational message for the audience that also included prominent leaders of non-Christian faiths. The president said that while religion is a source for good around the world, people of all faiths have been willing to 'hijack religion for their own murderous ends.'"
Religions can be (are) evil and murderous, said/heavily implied the Nobel Peace Laureate, who calls himself, “Good at Killing”. It’s important to point out the defects first, or you might think your religion is good, or at least OK. We can’t have that going on, so let’s make certain that your religion is demeaned properly – but we’ll call it a hijacking to ease your pain a little bit.

Now. Let’s Tu Quoque Christianity right up front in order to shut up any Christian criticism of Islamic atrocities. Here we go (you Islamists sit back and enjoy, OK?):
"Unless we get on our high horse and think that this is unique to some other place, remember that during the Crusades and Inquisition, people committed terrible deeds in the name of Christ," Obama said. "In our home country, slavery and Jim Crow all too often was justified in the name of Christ."
Thus saith O: the Obligatory List of Evil Christianity: Crusades, Inquisition, Slavery, Jim Crow: all caused by Christianity. And one of them even in the past 100 years, even. Except mostly that one was a Democrat racist discrimination toy. And over with by a half century ago after the Republican Civil Rights Law.

But the point is that you can’t criticize; only O can do that. So take that: Crusades, Inquisition, Slavery, Jim Crow. So you can’t say a thing about Islam, because: Crusades, Inquisition, Slavery, Jim Crow. Yeah. There. Take that. And shut up about Islam killing everyone in its way, just this very morning. Because you’re guilty of the stinking Crusades, ya know. CRUSADES for Gawdsakes!
"So it is not unique to one group or one religion," Obama said. "There is a tendency in us, a simple tendency that can pervert and distort our faith."
Evil Christianity proves that Islam is not totalitarian, it's just this evil-in-everyone. Well, not O, O only has moral lapses when he fails to meet his OWN expectations. He said so.

Or... maybe it means that all religions are totalitarian, depending on how O means that statement to reflect on Islam. No, that’s still not right. The fact that Christianity is rilly rilly evil excuses Islam for being evil. No, again still not right. Christianity is evil (Crusades and all), but Islam is hijacked by… Islamists. No, wait, that won't work. Hmmmm.
"Obama called for all people of faiths to show humility about their beliefs and reject the idea that 'God speaks only to us and doesn't speak to others.'"
In other words, all religions are equal, at least to O, relating God's Word delivered just in time for the meeting. Repeat, ALL religions.are.equal. So be humble, because your religion is not Right, because if it were Right, it would not be equal, would it? Well, would it?? Of course not. This proves your religion is Wrong, and Evil not to admit it. So at least shut up, because: O.

Plus if Christianity is evil, (Crusades, don’t you know), and all religions are equal, then all of them are evil. There. That should do it.
OK, Islamists, please sit down. Put those swords away. I am O.
/sarc

4 comments:

Stefani Monaghan said...

Except, of course, that the Crusades were a defensive war against Muslim incursions, and that Christians didn't start the atrocities, whatever they were (critics of Christianity are generally a little vague on the details).

Phoenix said...

I wonder if christians should go on such murderous rampages if there'll be any politicians that would claim the perpetrators have hijacked Christianity and that Islam and other religions does not hold the moral high ground because they are all equally guilty?

Perhaps in a parallel universe.

Robert Coble said...

Given an infinite number of universes in the multiverse, it is statistically certain that such a thing is happening simultaneously right now in at least one of them. Unfortunately, our esteemed physics experts have no idea how to empirically verify that there is a multiverse, much less that it is happening. So, I guess you'll just have to take it on "faith". . .ARGH!

Phoenix said...

Unfortunately, our esteemed physics experts have no idea how to empirically verify that there is a multiverse, much less that it is happening. So, I guess you'll just have to take it on "faith". . .ARGH!

Not just faith but the multiverse requires superfaith.Besides the lack of emprical evidence,it also violates Ockham Razor,after all,God as First Cause is much more parsimonius than an infinite number of universes which do not even subscribe to our known physical laws.